A Yes-AND! approach can balance the polarities of life
A Yes-AND! approach to life is a central tenet at Grounded Relating. We specialize in developing a talent for Yes-AND! We look at, hold, view, and investigate with compassion, as many of life’s polarities or dichotomies as possible, in order to be fluent in Yes-AND! speak. How? Through systems of knowledge like the Enneagram or Jung’s Cognitive Functions and the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment tool.
Both the Enneagram and the MBTI offer tried and true pathways to that place of Yes-AND! where many ways to meet a need can be elucidated. In the storm of life’s multiplicitous polarities, a road map like the Enneagram or the MBTI is really quite invaluable.
The better question might be why bother with figuring out polarities and dichotomies? Do life’s polarities actually affect grounded relating in relationships? One could build a case pretty easily. Doesn’t it seem that the Universe is actually structured or built from polarities and dichotomies? For example, here’s an easy short list of life-large dichotomies:
- Light, Dark
- Sun, Moon
- Duality, Non Duality
- Success, Failure
- Happiness, Sadness
- The I and The Thou
- Male, Female
- Child, Adult
- Lovers, Enemies
- Customers, Competition
And that list could go on and on, across any matrix you could think to design:
- Extrovert-Introvert personality
- Feeler-Thinker personality
- Conqueror, Conquered
- Hero, Victim
- King, Serf
- The Haves, The Have-Nots
Polar dichotomies are a way of life; start speaking that language
There is also the proverbial black-white dichotomy or polarity. And what about the “shades of grey” construct? How can these polarities and dichotomies be managed, or experienced, or observed and held with curiosity? Grounded Relating would like to suggest that using the all-inclusive perspective Yes-AND! might come in real handy.
If you can’t quite make it all the way to an inclusive Yes-AND!, Grounded Relating suggests also holding “in-play” the shades of grey in-between the momentary polarities of life. It’s kind of like saying Yes-AND! to yourself, but from this perspective:
YES! I know what I am talking about….AND, I might also be completely wrong. Let me check in with the other person (or thing) I am making assumptions about.
A little self-doubt around how much you know about the other person might be useful. And a less-defended position of rightness, is by its very nature more open, inclusive, and Yes-AND! Simple moments like when there is an option to speak to someone you would normally ignore. Another simple moment, might be the option to emote with a friend, when you might normally prefer to just be solution-oriented.
Or vice-versa: a moment when you want empathy, but it’s apparent, the other person in the situation is needing an action-oriented solution. With a capacity to view both sides of the equation with neutral interest, many more options, besides an either-or approach, appear. On occasion, when held lightly and neutrally, some polar opposites might actually reveal themselves quite transient and malleable.
Transient polarites: mirrors to unswayable bliss?
For as many transient dichotomies that exist and can be uncovered, there are likely an equal number of mirroring systems or modalities of thought, feeling and physical expression. Those mirrors might just hold the key to curiosity, compassion, or moment-to-moment satiety. And just perhaps, if one of those mirrors is held and supported without attachment to outcome long enough, unswayable bliss might even be established. Yes-AND!
Holding, pausing, not going on automatic in the face of life’s polarities, also known as Yes, AND!-ing the situation, is key. Both the Enneagram and the MBTI offer tried and true pathways to that place of Yes-AND! where many ways to meet a need can be elucidated. In the storm of life’s multiplicitous polarities, a road map like the Enneagram or the MBTI is really quite invaluable. Interested in learning more? Contact Grounded Relating and set up a self-discovery session today!
