Ask Alice about Heart Types identity struggle
How do Heart Types of the Enneagram feel? What would it be like to walk a mile in the heart-focused shoes of the Enneagram Heart Types? Truly Jewel’s song “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” might be a great portal, a doorway into that way of being on the planet. The lyrics of that song seem to encapsulate what it might feel like living as Heart Types, or an image type on the Enneagram who struggles with shame. While the actual vestiges of shame may not be explicitly revealed in the song, nuances are apparent.
Although Jewel’s song is only 3-5 minutes long, it definitely paints an exceptional picture of the three Heart Types and their journey on the Enneagram. As with anything Enneagram, sweeping generalizations are not usually helpful and actually are rather frowned upon. Always, always, additional study, observation and confirmation of real Enneatypes in action, living their own lives from their particular Enneagram Center of Intelligence, is highly recommended.
Beware of your own automatic view-screen and biases
Holding the knowledge of the Enneagram humbly, and with compassion is your best bet. Listening to another express their own Enneagram experience, however it may differ from your understanding, runs a close second. Why is that? Because even on your best day, you still have an automatic view-screen of your own.
Your automatic view-screen is constantly filtering according to your type bias! Staying open to any possibility is even more warranted than less with the Enneagram. In fact, becoming aware of your own fixations, and holding all that with compassion is exactly how the Enneagram may function in your life as a stabilizing, calming and balanced force.
To clarify, the song “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” gives a big yellow arrow in neon, pointing in the general direction of the three Heart Types and how they interface with identity, shame and belonging. (Not an iron-clad arrow, just a big yellow neon arrow, okay?)
Context relevant to understanding experience
According to discogs.com, “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” was released in 2006, over 10 years ago. The lyrics of this song remain relevant today, however, because the lyrics mark out an adult rite of passage that each of us makes in our own time. The song seems to be at a reflection point of the songstress’ life and career in the music industry. There also would appear to be an awareness of the songstress’ best practices and take-aways from her recent experiences.
It is important to realize “Alice’s farewell to wonderland” points to a great grounding method that can be used to root yourself back into your own environment. In other words, you can return to your real self, your inner self or Essence Identity, through reflection and contemplation. Reflecting and synthesizing or combining the nature of your environment with your own acts of daily living can be used to ground yourself into a particular moment or snapshot of time. When you are grounded, it is possible to triangulate yourself back to the real you, the inner you. This inner you, is the YOU that is constant amidst all the chaotic action and changes found in the world.
How transformation and awakening begin
This is how transformation and awakening could begin! This is also how awareness of the All That IS will be maintained. “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” is at the same time both deeply personal and cosmically relevant, in a very Yes-AND! way. This cosmic aspect completely synchs up with how the Enneagram theory holds the good, the bad and the ugly, while also offering the pathway to peace beyond the paper tiger of type. (Read more about the “Enneagram journey: paths past Ego Fixation.”) Take a look and listen to “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” as posted by Jewel on YouTube:
Heart Types: the search is always about feelings
Either singing about herself or the life of a vocal artist, Jewel’s lyrics clearly point to a youthful career in music, now at a midpoint, paused in reflection. With reflection, one can try to see where “it” or where everything is: past goals, current dreams, reality of the moment’s situation. In the song’s lyrics, there is awareness that the search had always been about belonging. Indeed, the lyrics actual state at one point: “I’ve made a living with the song…wanting desperately to belong.”
This “wanting to belong” is also what all three Heart Types of the Enneagram really want too: to know their own identity, there singular and collective Is-ness. All three Heart Types want to rest secure in the knowledge that their vessel isn’t empty, nor does it have to be filled with works, love, or intensity to be real.
Accessing rich depths and nuances of the Enneagram
Certainly for those of you readers who already know the Enneagram and have spent time with the theory, then the relevance of this song may pop out right at you. For those of you newer to the Enneagram, you might simply view the song as the clearly human rite of passage it represents:
“In our youth, each of us chooses how to live.
A decade or more passes, and suddenly,
We are wiser about our needs and wants.
Then we make adult-discerned decisions.”
Or, if you’d like, you can delve further into your own Enneagram discovery by doing a little reading. Here’s the first in a seven-part series of Enneagram articles: Enneagram historical origins remain cloaked. You could also choose read the following three articles that break “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” down by Enneagram Heart Types a little more clearly: 1) The Enneagram Performer aims for transformational living; 2) How the Enneagram Helper allows Holy Freedom; and 3) How the Enneagram Tragic Romantic finds Original Source.
Are you a Heart Type on the Enneagram?
Do you resonate with the feeling conditions experienced in this song, either generally or specifically? Are you one of the three Heart Types on the Enneagram? Contact us if you are curious and would like help understanding your own Enneatype. Grounded Relating is here to help!
Otherwise, join us next week for another hopefully thought-provoking Monday Music selection. Enjoy the music, and use the Grounded Relating Monday Music Challenge to stay present to yourself today, and every day.
Full Lyrics for “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland”
Full lyrics for “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland” by Jewel, as posted on cowboylyrics.com:
“Goodbye Alice in Wonderland”
It’s four in the afternoon, I’m on a flight leaving L.A.
Trying to think about my life, My youth scattered along the highway
Hotel rooms and headlights, I’ve made a living with a song
Guitar as my companion, Wanting desperately to belong
Fame is filled with spoiled children,; We grow fat on fantasy
I guess that’s why I’m leaving, I crave reality
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland, Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
I did not find paradise
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
What’s been missing in my life
I’m embarrassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliché
I hit the bottom when I reached the top
But I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart
I thought you had to love me, but you did not
Yes a heart can hallucinate
If it’s completely starved for love
It can even turn monsters into
Angels from above
You forged my love just like a weapon
And you turned it against me like a knife
You broke my last heartstring
You opened up my eyes
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland, Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
That was not love in your eyes
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching
what was missing in my life
Growing up is not an absence of dreaming
It’s being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold
And the ones that you’ve been sold
And Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life
But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie
Forgetting what you are
Seeing for what you’ve been told
Oh truth is stranger than fiction
This is my chance to get it right
And life is much better without all of those pretty lies
Oh So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
And you can keep your yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
These are not tears in my eyes
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
I found what’s missing in my life
