Self-love: a bargain you need not refuse
Today’s Grounded Relating Monday Music challenge focuses on bargains, bargains for your soul. Bargains that you already possess, but may not yet have activated. Bargains that are purchased, not with money, but with self-love. Today, we will take a listen to Dolly Parton’s song, “The Bargain Store” from the mid-70s.
There are many ways to view this song’s love story. One literal way is that the singer is longing for a new relationship, and singing to attract or make known her own marketability. Another more transcendent way might be to see the song telling a story of self-love, from the viewpoint of a woman who has had a bad relationship or two. The woman in the song recognizes her merchandise is used, but also (Yes, AND!) still pretty good. There are a just a few missing parts that need to be replaced.
What if we looked at our own “self” that way, through the eyes of self-love? Owning that already, we are pretty good? There’s been some damage here, some loss there, some structural integrity problems there, but overall, we’re pretty good. And if we just had one or two missing parts replaced, we would be ALL good.
But be careful with that idea of “all good.” “All good” might easily become an egoic slippery slope. But if held loosely, “all good” could also pry the door of options wide open. Everything has a balance. And with discernment and curiosity, that balance can be manifested in the 3-D world.
“My life is like unto a bargain store
And I may have just what you’re lookin’ for
If you don’t mind the fact that all the merchandise is used
With a little mendin’ it could be as good as new.”
In the song, Parton as the singer is saying the currency for her merchandise is love. Hasn’t that always been the truth? Doesn’t that sound like a very familiar story? What wouldn’t each of us do, if we were given a little love? Doesn’t love pave the way to many things?
Indeed it does; love will pave the way, whether we own it or not. Each of you who has a family whom you love, you already know the lengths of service, duty, protection, sacrifice, effort—whatever it is for you—that you will go to for your family, out of love. Love is a form of currency. Everybody can be rich in love.
Your personal bargain store is always open; come inside!
From the transcendent point of view, the get-rich-quick scheme is to come inside, using the currency of self-love. The practice becomes looking inside yourself for the answers, and looking inside with self-love. By going inside, you can start to unravel who you really are: what motivates you, what stresses you, what is your go-to strategy that serves, or damages you.
And you don’t need a degree, a Vice-President job title, a Lexus, or a 5-bedroom house, or anything. Love is all you need. Self-love, to be very specific. You may also need to pause, make space and time for contemplation and meditation to grow your self-love.
In addition to self-love, some more knowledge to parse this new understanding of yourself could be useful. It may not be mandatory, just useful. What we all most need is simply to turn off automatic pilot, and to stop assuming or thinking we know everything already. Finding humility and learning to recognize what you don’t know can be very illuminating. Actually a relaxing might occur, when you finally realize you don’t know it all. When you get to the place of knowing that there are many, many things out there that someone else knows better than you, do it can be such a relief. You tricked yourself into thinking you had to know it all.
But, first before we can see out there, we have to go inside. And that’s free for the taking with a little self-love. “The Bargain Store” sings it well:
“The bargain store is open come inside
You can easily afford the price
Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise
And I will guarantee you’ll be completely satisfied.”
“The Bargain Store” even speaks to past and future dreams, loss and abundance. Sure, there are things you were going to do. Maybe those things didn’t happen. Move on. You have enough already to make more plans, new plans, different plans. The future is yours; don’t live in the past that’s already happened. And don’t get stuck in the future, either. Hold it all in balance, with an all-inclusive “Yes, AND!” approach. Here’s “The Bargain Store[’s]” take on it:
Take these old used memories from the past
And these broken dreams and plans that didn’t last
I’ll trade them for a future, I can’t use them anymore
I’ve wasted love but I still have some more
Enjoy Dolly Parton’s “The Bargain Store” as posted on YouTube:
Getting on the DOLE, the self-love DOLE
According to TheFreeDictionary.com, getting on the DOLE means “receiving regular relief payments from or as if from the government”. As individuals, in our own head-body-mind, we are our own government, and the only entity that will provide ourselves with relief. Why not get on the self-love DOLE? “The Bargain Store” ends with a repeated phrase: “The bargain store is open, come inside;
The bargain store is open, come inside.”
Are you ready to go inside your own bargain store? Can you own your merchandise is pretty good, and maybe just needs a little love? Self-love will work just as well as Other-love. And self-love is fairly reliable: You are in total control of your “self,” and therefore can dole out self-love payments whenever you need, 24-7 hours a day.
Would you like to be completely satisfied? Remember this “bargain store” mentality as you walk your way through this week, and see how much love currency you have to spend on all the bargains you find inside your own life.
Join us next week for another Grounded Relating Monday Music Challenge.
Full lyrics for “The Bargain Store” as posted on atozlyrics.com, written by country music legend Dolly Parton:
My life is like unto a bargain store
And I may have just what you’re lookin’ for
If you don’t mind the fact that all the merchandise is used
But with a little mending it could be as good as new
Why you take for instance this old broken heart
If you will just replace the missing parts
You would be surprised to find how good it really is
Take it and you never will be sorry that you did
The bargain store is open come inside
You can easily afford the price
Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise
And I will guarantee you’ll be completely satisfied
Take these old used memories from the past
And these broken dreams and plans that didn’t last
I’ll trade them for a future, I can’t use them anymore
I’ve wasted love but I still have some more
The bargain store is open come inside
You can easily afford the price
Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise
And I can guarantee you’ll be completely satisfied
My life is like unto a bargain store
And I may have just what you’re lookin’ for
If you don’t mind the fact that all the merchandise is used
With a little mendin’ it could be as good as new
The bargain store is open, come inside
The bargain store is open, come inside
